How your life (& birth) will change when you wake up & listen to your gut…with Kaitlin Rose


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Your instincts are like a zip drive of all your life experience, your thoughts, your emotions, your values, your moral fabric…available for access instantly right when you need it most. 

It’s not about following your emotions into into some blissfully naive field of rainbows & unicorns. It’s not about just doing what your emotions feel like doing.

It’s about sitting up & acknowledging that what you think, feel & sense is valuable. It matters. It matters along with everything else you’ve heard from the “experts” & others you trust. Want the best care for you & baby? Your “gut” has a place in your decision making {even as a first time mom}. Listening to your instincts now will help you avoid regret later. 

Kaitlin Rose shares how she got there & helps you get there too. 

She shares her story of how she learned to listen to her instincts, why it mattered, how it completely changed her birth experience for the better & how its impacted her everyday beyond birth. She also teaches how you can keep fear out of your life, why knowing your options needs to begin as early as possible & how your life will change when you listen to your instincts.

Who is Kaitlin Rose?

She’s the mama of 2 kiddos, the founder of the immensely popular blog & author of “The 9 steps to Home Birth Prep”. Kaitlin is a vegetarian who sometimes craves bacon.  Drop by her site: & say thanks for doing this interview!

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Kaitlin Rose

Sarah Blight:               Hi. This is Sarah Blight from your where experts and real moms share their most important lessons learned so that you can be confident and know what to expect as you are pregnant and go through childbirth.


                                    Well have you ever felt unsure of yourself or overwhelmed during your pregnancy and childbirth experience either now or in the past? Well that is a very common thing that so many women deal with and we tonight are going to be talking about trusting your instincts, trusting your gut, and also knowing that you do have options, you do have decisions that are in your power to make and we are going to give you the tools to get there.


                                    So thank you so much to Kaitlin Rose for joining us tonight. She is the mama of two kiddos. She is the founder and blogger at and she also wrote the book, 9 Steps to Prep for Homebirth – wait, is that right? 9 Steps to Homebirth Prep, there we go. Thanks, Kaitlin Rose, for being here today.


Kaitlin Rose:                Thank you for having me.


Sarah Blight:               So you mentioned in your preinterview that you were inspired to share with mamas that they have options. So this kind of implies that women don’t know that they have options. What do you mean by that and can you give us some examples?


Kaitlin Rose:                Sure. Well the reason why think that most women don’t have options or why I have the perception that maybe many women don’t think that they do is because today in our culture, 99% of women give birth in hospitals and that is a huge number. So that kind of does imply that maybe if women knew they had more options they wouldn’t always be choosing or almost always choose the hospital birth setting. Other options include birth centers whether that’s a free standing birth center or a birth center that’s attached to a hospital or a homebirth or an assisted birth. Those are all choices.


                                    But I’d like to back way up to the beginning of pregnancy because I think that’s when our options really start is kind of getting this view or an understanding of how you might want the end, the end result to be and starting at the very beginning by hiring the right care provider for you. I think that’s really the first option and then you can go through all the options of pregnancy and options of labor, how you’re going to labor, where you’re going to labor and then on to the actual birth setting itself.


Sarah Blight:               Okay. So that’s a good point. Why does it matter so much who you select as your care provider? I mean why isn’t the person who you’ve been going to since you turned 18 and had your first Pap smear the person who should, you know, or could catch your baby?


Kaitlin Rose:                Well it is very possible that that person could be the right person for you especially if you’ve known them for a long time and you trust them. I think that the most important key elements to having that care provider really be the one that you want to hire because we are consumers and we are hiring someone to guide us through this experience –


Sarah Blight:               Good point.


Kaitlin Rose:                — that you know, like, and trust who your care provider is. So if you know them and you do trust them, that’s great. But I want to make sure that I suggest that women know exactly what their care provider’s views on birth are. Because even if you really like them and you’ve had a great relationship for so long or you know you’ve been going to your appointments with them for all your womanly care, you might have really opposing views of birth and that could really get in the way of having a great birth experience.


Sarah Blight:               Okay. So then it sounds like what you’re saying is that that might mean that you aren’t making decisions but your provider is then making the decisions if you are just deferring to them. Is that what you mean?


Kaitlin Rose:                Totally and also, you know, starting at the very beginning of your pregnancy and talking about these things, you’re going to know all along you’re going to feel like a sense of peace knowing that you see eye to eye and that you’re working as partners in this all along so there are no surprises. That’s why I advocate that being the very first option is choosing your care provider at the very beginning so you know what to expect and you have a similar vision heading into your birth.


Sarah Blight:               Okay. So it sounds like you might have some personal experience to back up this advice that you’re giving. You were four months into your pregnancy with your first when you did an about face and decided to have a homebirth. Tell us about why you made that decision and how you came to that decision.



Kaitlin Rose:                Okay.  I went so far as four months before choosing a homebirth because really I didn’t think about it too much and that’s really weird for me to think about now because I think about it all the time and I’m not even pregnant anymore.


Sarah Blight:               [Laughs] Yeah.


Kaitlin Rose:                But I was really just going more like the standard route basically. I mean I wasn’t going to go an OB, I was going to a group of midwives basically because I just heard good things about, you know, going and I wanted to see another woman. I thought that would make more comfortable that I would be just more comfortable sharing that intimate moment of my life with other women. But really the kicker was I contacted a doula and I told her I was interested in a natural childbirth and she said, oh, well, if you’re even interested in the slightest, you’ve got to come to see this woman speak. Her name was Suzanne Arms and when she gave her talk that I went to, I was really blown away and she talked about things that I had never heard before. I didn’t know anyone who had had a homebirth or even considered birth to be such a sacred life event. The way she talked about the mother-baby relationship and bringing your baby into the world in a peaceful way, then when she mentioned homebirth, it was like connecting all these dots in my head that I didn’t even know existed and I walked out that night saying I think I want to have a homebirth.


Sarah Blight:               Wow. Okay and so that’s what you decided to do. How was your partner responding to all of this?


Kaitlin Rose:                Well he was there that night so there was definitely a part of him that understood where I was coming from. Everything that Suzanne was saying was very compelling. But at the same time, he did want to play it safe, which is very common for any partner or family member or friend when someone is having a homebirth because it’s just not the everyday thing that people do. So he was supportive with a slight hesitancy but just airing, airing on the side of caution.


                                    So we continued to do care at the hospital with the midwives as well as we did hire a homebirth midwife after an interviewing process and then we had dual care both at the hospital and her even though we knew that was what we were planning.


Sarah Blight:               Okay. So what role did fear play in your decision? Is that kind of why you had a dual care for a while? Was it fear based or was it just a precaution that you wanted to take? What was your gut telling you?


Kaitlin Rose:                Well my gut was telling me like throw all the caution to the wind and, you know, this is just how I feel and I’m going to go with my gut and I just put myself in this little protective bubble and just felt like that was my warm cozy place. I was really careful about who I told and I tried to not a lot of fear and just negativity at all play into just how I was living every day. I wanted to make it a really positive pregnancy and I knew that if I got fearful, I would become anxious and I would become tense and that just wasn’t going to help me, like not even in my labor just all around.


                                    But as far as going to dual care for a precautionary measure it was in one sense because I knew that because I was a first time mom and labors kind of take a while your first time that I knew there was a chance even though I was telling myself there wasn’t. You know, I knew in the back of my mind there was a chance that I might want to transfer. That maybe there wouldn’t be an emergency but maybe I would just get really, really tired and I would want to go in and just be taken care of and get the IV and just lay back in the bed and sleep or something.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum.


Kaitlin Rose:                So with our local hospital, you couldn’t tell them you were doing a homebirth and still get care so I decided not to tell them and keep going as if we were just going to give birth there.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum.


Kaitlin Rose:                And then eventually I stopped going at 38 weeks. But it was a good backup for me to know they knew who I was, they knew what my pregnancy was like, they had all the charts filled out for me as their patient and that I could go there if it was necessary.


Sarah Blight:               So when you had this kind of this gut feeling when you were listening to the speaker, what did that feel like to you? So many times, I think we talk about listening to your gut, listen to your instincts but what does that, what form does that take? What does that look like?


Kaitlin Rose:                For me I’m kind of a high energy person and I just like get really revved up and I start talking fast and I start using a lot of body language kind of like right now.


Sarah Blight:               [Laughs] 


Kaitlin Rose:                I get hot. Like I get so warm and so I was sitting there and I felt just flushed and it was kind of like that light bulb thing, but it was like my whole body just lit up. I always say that because it’s so true, it’s really what happened. But when you really feel something like that and you feel your body chemistry change and react, I don’t know, I think it’s pretty powerful. It was telling that I had that experience. So, yeah, I just lit up on fire.



Sarah Blight:               You did. You were on fire. Well I have another question about is it really a good idea to listen to your gut, you know, [0:10:41] [Indiscernible] listening to all these medical experts in a second. But if you’re watching this interview and you really like what you’re seeing, check out all of our slew of other interviews that we have. We have them on topics like coping with pain and labor, how to have a postpartum depression plan in place before you go into labor, C-sections you have options there that most people don’t even know about. So check out those interviews, interview archives on the right-hand side of the screen when you’re finished listening to this interview.


                                    Okay. So is it really a good idea to listen to your gut, to listen to your intuition when you have people like your doctors at the hospital who are very competent, I’m sure great doctors, you know, in charge of you? Who are you to make a decision like birthing at home when you have these amazing professionals there to guide you? Isn’t that what they’re there for?


Kaitlin Rose:                Yeah. Absolutely. And when it comes to medical advice, I have a lot of faith and trust in medical professionals in the hospital. So anybody who might be considered high risk with high blood pressure, diabetes, not leaning that way or I can’t touch about that because I’m not –


Sarah Blight:               That’s not your experience.


Kaitlin Rose:                — qualified to talk about all of those things that might eliminate you from homebirth.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum.


Kaitlin Rose:                But there are two types of professionals or even more than that but you have your professionals at the hospital and they’re going to tell you things that they have been trained for and have all of this knowledge based on this certain area in that profession and they’re giving you great advice based on what they know. Then you have the midwives who have a totally different model of care and they think about birth and labor and the whole process in a totally different way. Neither of them you could say are right or wrong but they’re very different. If you find an experiences, professional midwife who’s been doing this for years and is qualified and has a lot of knowledge and education backing her up too, you could come to both of these parties with what that gut feeling is. If either one are like saying no man, you’re like crazy, that’s really a bad idea, you know and I’m not just saying it’s crazy because I think it, it’s actually your health or your baby or something is going on, I would definitely say listen to them.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum.


Kaitlin Rose:                But if it is – you know, you could be a totally low risk, healthy mom and your pregnancy is going great and you go to the hospital and hear that you’re crazy from a doctor.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum.


Kaitlin Rose:                Because it just really isn’t the norm and that means also that they’re losing you as a patient and they want to talk you out of it.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum. Uh-hum.


Kaitlin Rose:                If you’re talking to a midwife and you’re that great candidate for a homebirth and you’re talking about this vision that you have and you’re trusting your gut and you’re feeling that path, she could be really, really supportive and say you can absolutely do that and she could have your back and be in your corner. So really just depends the vision that you have with birth and how that matches up with care providers too.


Sarah Blight:               So it sounds like what you’re saying is you are the master of your own ship. You know your body better than anybody and you’re partnering with your provider whether it’s a midwife or a doctor to really combine the best of both. They have the medical and all the detailed knowledge about things that you don’t and you have your bodily knowledge and you can combine them and make the dream team. Is that what you’re saying?


Kaitlin Rose:                Absolutely. Absolutely. Yes.


Sarah Blight:               Cool.


Kaitlin Rose:                Yes.


Sarah Blight:               Okay. So I want to know how has – so you listened to like you had this visceral gut reaction and decided to have a homebirth and you ended up having another one after that obviously the first one went well for you as well as the second. But how has really listening to your gut and really tuning into that sense impacted you as a parent? Can you give us any examples of that?


Kaitlin Rose:                Yeah. Well first I would just say, I don’t think that there has ever been anything in my life that I have experienced from beginning to end that has been so powerful and confidence building as having this original gut feeling about homebirth, planning it, taking responsibility for it, seeing it through all the way to the end, and succeeding in it and having this beautiful homebirth experience.


                                    It was very challenging. You know, there were several challenges that I came across both at the hospital with the midwives, emotional challenges with friends and family and then just the challenges of pregnancy and then challenges of labor and it was so long and it was so hard and I was… The fact that I got through all of that and then I stuck to my guns and I followed through with it definitely, definitely impacted me as a parent. It made me much more confident with my gut choices because I had had success in it before where I felt that and because I followed through and I was strong and I did it. You know, I just had that thing I did it moment.


Sarah Blight:               Yeah.


Kaitlin Rose:                Yeah, I felt like I can do this again whatever little challenge is, you know, if it’s something to do with parenting, yeah. I mean I can think of a million different examples of when I thought no, I should just trust my gut on this one. You know, I’ve had experience and success with this before so maybe it will work out and it did that, yeah, I really felt as a result of my homebirth experiences.


Sarah Blight:               I want to back up for just a second and go back to something you said earlier about you were very selective about who you told that you were going to have a homebirth. And we touched on briefly in the intro about fear and just kind of being unsure of yourself and fearful. How did you kind of protect yourself from the fear based responses and negativity that can kind of bombard you as a mom whether you’re making a decision about homebirth or whether you’re making a decision about anything else, vaccines, bottle feeding, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, the myriad of other decisions that you’ll be making as a mom. How do you sort of stay safe in like the positive zone? How did you do that?


Kaitlin Rose:                Okay. That’s a great question because I know that there’s a lot of other people who are out there who’ve experienced or are experiencing this same thing. And when you’re kind of like on the fringe of doing things a little bit differently, you might not find a lot of support from your friends or your family or sometimes the people around you just are doing things a different way. In my case, I didn’t know anyone when I decided to plan a homebirth other than my doula who had had a homebirth. It was the first time I had ever heard of that. So what I did and what I encourage people to do now is to find a support network wherever you can. If you can’t find it offline then I’m a big proponent of going online to find it because there are groups of people, hundreds of thousands of groups of people in every different little area that you mentioned that will have your back.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum.


Kaitlin Rose:                On cloth diapering, on vaccinations, on homebirth, on water birth. I mean you can get into like specific kinds of homebirth and there are hundreds of people who will readily give you information and support based on whatever it is you’re doing. When I first got started in all of this with myself and planning my homebirth, I had my doula and then I went to her natural childbirth class so I started to get a little bit support there from the other moms and parents. And then of course I watched the Business of Being Born and literally just watching that movie made me feel better. It made me feel like there’s other people out here who are doing this, you know, out in the world who feel the same way and I’m not crazy, they’re not crazy. Then I started getting involved online and I created a My Best Birth account Ricki Lake’s site and not long after that I started collecting homebirth stories. It was from women from that site that I met and started Bring Birth Home in hopes to support other women who were traveling along a similar path as myself.


Sarah Blight:               Uh-hum. That’s amazing. If you have one last piece of advice to share with the women who are watching this interview right now about intuition, decision making, options what is it?


Kaitlin Rose:                Well I  think we’ve touched on a lot of it, but I would just ultimately say something very similar that Anna [0:19:41] [Indiscernible] would say. That even if you are a first time mom and you don’t know what you’re doing, and everything feels so new and it’s scary and it’s huge, it’s this really big thing pregnancy and bringing a life into the world, that in the long line of history of women, we in our bodies are very wise and our bodies, women’s bodies have been doing this for a very long time. And that like the midwifery model of care states that birth is a really normal function for our bodies to carry out and just to say believe in yourself and believe in your body and that’s really one of my big mottos.



Sarah Blight:               Yeah. I love that. Thank you so much, Kaitlin. To all the mamas who are watching, tell us that you think. What are some of your challenges that you’re facing right now whether it’s decision making or staying positive or keeping the negativity out, listening to your gut, what that feels like? Please drop your comments below. We’re happy to respond and dialogue with you. We love that. Also check out Kaitlin’s website Bring Birth Home. If that’s something that you’re thinking about that you want to explore, check that out, also, her book, 9 Steps to Homebirth Prep as well. So thanks everyone for watching, we’ll see you soon. Thanks, Kaitlin.


Kaitlin Rose:                Thank