By Valentina Pollard of Just Breathe

My Top 10 Must-Haves: The First 3 Months

Daphne and Poppy are now 3 months old! I cannot believe it. They have been home from the NICU for longer than they were there…and the days are flying by (although some more smoothly than others). During this time there have been some items that have made our lives much, much easier. I have listed my very favorite must-haves below. Please note that this list is made with twins in mind. Of course, it applies to all babies (just don’t buy as much if you have one baby instead of two…or buy more if you have three or four)!

 10. Baby Trend Double Snap N Go Stroller. Confession: We have three double strollers. Two parents. Two babies. Three double strollers. I am a bit stroller obsessed. We have the Bob Duallie (haven’t used just yet since the girls are not big enough to run with yet). And we have the Bumbleride Indie Twin (Love it for neighborhood walks and leisurely strolls, but not the most practical for everyday errands and such). At the advice of another twin mom, I bought the Snap N Go…I didn’t want to – after all it is plastic and pretty ugly. But wow this thing is so easy to use when I am out alone with the girls and easy to maneuver with one hand (leaving the other to shop with…). Ugly or not, the easy and cheap Double Snap N Go is an absolute must have.

 9. Chicco Keyfit 30 car seats. These car seats are approved for preemies 4 pounds and bigger. We first bought Graco carseats with a pattern that I loved. The NICU had us return them to buy the Chicco. The girls both passed their car seat tests, they are lightweight and easy to carry two at a time…love them. We lost one of the seat pad inserts (still a mystery where it ended up!), so I called Chicco to order another one. For $12 they sent me a replacement and it arrived in 2 days! Great customer service. Buy them!

 8. Fisher-Price Newborn Rock & Play Sleeper. Two of them in your bedroom…critically necessary for the first three months (and counting!). We each have one sleeper next to each of us and the girls are now sleeping in them up to 8 hours each night. These keep them on an incline, reduce reflux and are easy to move around the house for impromptu napping. Must have. Period. Must. Best money you will spend.

 7. Fisher-Price Papasan Cradle Swing – My Little Lamb. The big one. The girls rotate using this when one is feeding and the other is fussy. They are HUGE and expensive, so we only bought one, but baby is it worth it. They love it. Immediately calms whichever one is in it, which is great because if you are feeding the other one or changing one, etc. you cannot attend to both at the same time. If we had tons of room we would probably buy a second one, but our house is small!

 6. The Miracle Blanket. Get one for each baby you have. They will not want to share and you will greatly benefit from having two sleeping babies! It is the best swaddle. As bragged about above, both girls are sleeping up to 8 hours at night…but only when we swaddle them with this particular swaddle. A good swaddle is huge for a preemie (which most twins are) because it mimics the womb. I like my babies swaddled. And I like them swaddled tight.

 5. Medela Symphony breast pump. I rented mine from a local store. Many hospitals rent them as well. If you are pumping for twins, don’t mess around with the pumps you can buy at a store – they are no where near powerful enough for how much milk you will need to produce and how quickly you will need to produce it!

4. Moby wrap. I am wrap obsessed. Chances are, if you stop by my house I am wearing one if not two babies. All. The. Time. I have bought three other wraps, but I keep coming back to the Moby. People say it is hard to use or that there is too much fabric. Bull. It is fabulous. I can now tie it without using a mirror and the girls love it. In fact, Daphne is asleep in it now while I am writing this!

 3. Graco Sweet Slumber Sound Machine. Small, portable and plays multiple sounds. We moved ours to the master bedroom and keep it on all the time. I prefer the rain and bird sounds. Puts the girls to sleep and I really believe it helps them relax at night. On a whim, I put this on our registry and am so glad I did. It was an awesome gift to receive and one of the most useful so far.

 2. Diaper Genie II Elite Diaper Disposal System. I’ll admit: I have talked a lot of trash about diaper genies in the past (pun totally intended). But with two babies (or for that matter any amount of baby(ies)!) and all the dirty diapers they produce (sorry, but I only use disposable diapers…much praise to those of you who are more eco-conscious than I am, but over my dead body am I scrapping poo into a toilet…yack)…must. have. Our house smells great at all times.

 1. California Baby Calendula Cream.  Nature’s First-Aid! As the description states, California Baby Calendula Cream is excellent for use on general diaper area, cradle cap, on cuts and scrapes, and may be used on face and body for extra-dry or sensitive skin. Botanically based, our light and fluffy Calendula Cream contains the active ingredient of Calendula, which has been used to heal the skin for centuries. California Baby Calendula Cream offers deep hydration, absorbs completely, and leaves skin feeling satiny smooth. I’ve been using it on both girls’ sweet faces at night (and mine too!) as part of our bedtime routine and on any little scratches (from those pesky finger nails that grow like weeds), etc. If I notice a scratch on one of the girl’s faces I immediately apply some cream and – ta da! – the scratch literally disappears by the next morning. It smells like heaven, is lightweight and the girls and I love it. You will too.

What am I missing out on? Any suggestions of must-haves for the next 3 months?

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More about our Booty Blogger:

Valentina Vassallo Pollard started …just breathe… in May 2010 when, after many months, she found herself still holding her breath in hopes of a positive pregnancy test. After a year and a half long journey through the trenches of infertility, she is now living her very own happy ending beginning – a successful first round of IVF resulting in a healthy pregnancy with twin girls. Valentina is busy adjusting to the wonderful world of mommyhood with the arrival of her girls, now three months old. She is passionate about spreading the word about infertility treatments and the options available to families. She writes about her experiences, hopes, dreams and shopping binges (now mostly baby related) on her blog – www.just-breathe-blog.blogspot.com. Valentina lives in Austin, Texas with her very handsome (and patient) husband, Blake.

by Emily Arters of The Monkey Barrel

A Newborn Survival Guide

I have stopped and started this post about 30 times in the last 2 weeks.  Between nursing a newborn, wrangling a 2 1/2 year old, trying to occupy an 11 and 6 year old, keeping our house in some semblance of order, laundry, dishes, doctors appointments, and a hundred other daily minutia, my brain can’t seem to drum up the words all in one sitting to recap the last 8 weeks.  Exhaustion doesn’t even begin to encompass it all.  Somewhere in the in the last week or so I seem to have been able to catch my breath…to pause in the chaos and take stock.  I think about you moms who are embarking on this journey for the very first time.  I think about what advice I wish I’d had to survive the first 8 weeks when I had my firstborn and now my 4th.  What would have been most pertinent to get through day to day, minute to minute?  Here’s my stab at a survival guide for you gals and in no particular order.

 10 Tips to Staying Sane with a Newborn

1. Take a shower or bathe every day.  There is something about being clean that makes you feel human, alive, invigorated.  Your temptation will be to hover over that little bundle every second.  I promise you, ten minutes to tend to yourself is the greatest daily gift you can give that baby.  It doesn’t matter what time of day you can snatch that time.  Even if you need to have your partner, or your mom, or a friend hold the baby while sitting in the bathroom with you, do it.

2. Drink 8 glasses of some liquid daily, especially if you’re a nursing mom.  This is one of the best ways to protect your supply.  If you dehydrate, the first production your body is going to shutdown, is milk.  Get a little post it pad or piece of paper to tack to the fridge and make a hashmark for every glass you down to keep track.  Don’t trust that new momma brain or you’ll go a whole day before you remember that you’ve barely drunk a thing.

3. Talk about what you’re feeling.  If you can’t get images of the worst thing in the world happening to you and your spouse or the baby, talk them out.  Stuffing them into the corners of your brain isn’t helping anyone and causes loads more stress and anxiety than you already are shouldering.  And stress and anxiety are another factor in depleting your milk supply.  No matter how weird or dark the thoughts or images are, air ‘em out.

4. Accept help. Lots of us have friends who will ask to help or how they can help and we’ll be stoic and say we’re good, we’re fine, we’ve got this.  No you don’t.  People want to be compassionate and truly help you out.  Let them!!!!  Take meals made by other’s hands for as long as they’re provided.  Later on, when you can, you’ll be able to return the favor.  Besides, they figure it’s currency to get in the door and hold that baby!!

5. Pump at least one bottle at night. Do it in the early evening and let your spouse give it to the baby.  The baby’s still getting your milk, your hubs is getting some bonding time, and you are going to go crawl in bed and grab as much sleep as you can before the next feeding.  Teaching the baby to take a bottle here and there does a world of good for your sanity.

6. Do a chore for 10 minutes after each feeding.  Before the baby comes, decide the chores most important to you to get done each day and list them in order of importance.  After each feeding rotate a load of laundry, empty the dishwasher, or scrub a toilet.  When the house,  you’re  pretty well confined to,  starts falling apart, it just depletes your energy looking at it and you hardly know where to begin.  Committing just a bit of time helps you stretch your legs and put the baby down for a few minutes.  The entire house isn’t going to be a sparkling testament to Martha Stewarts teachings, but there will be corners you can peer over your baby’s head at and feel good about.

7. Stock up on books for your kindle and movies.  You are going to spend a LOT of time sitting and nursing. You will go stir crazy if you’re dependent on cable for your entertainment.  I’m so not kidding.  Be happy this is your first and you’re the master of your remote.  I have been subjected to so many hours of Phineas and Ferb, The Little Einsteins, and ICarly I could cry.

8. Maintain your sense of humor.  If you don’t laugh, you will cry and cry and cry and cry.  Granted, you’re gonna cry a lot anyway.  Those hormones will kick in on the third day and you will cry equally as much in joy as in bewilderment and in pain.  Find the humor in it.  It will save your life.

9. Even if you hold the baby the entire time, as long as weather permits, get outside and walk for 5 minutes every day.  It doesn’t have to be the same time every day.  Getting outside your four walls and soaking in a little vitamin D will totally cheer you up and uncramp all the kinks in your legs and back.  There will be a LOT of kinks!

10. Breathe!!!!  You can do this.  Some days it will feel like you are hanging on by minutes and others you will feel like superwoman.  I wanted to quit breastfeeding every other minute and then the next feeding would go so well that I felt invincible.  It takes about 6 to 8 weeks to establish a rhythm that the two of you are comfortable in.  Give yourself at least that goal marker to make it to and then at the end decide how you feel and how it’s going.  You’re life in those weeks is going to revolve around those feedings and you will feel like you’re spinning out of control.  Just breathe.  Take it one feeding at a time.  Give yourself some grace that it’s new territory.  Even bottle feedings can be overwhelming when it’s all foreign territory.  You will get there.  I promise.

This time, when the 8 week marker hit, I could hardly believe it came so fast.  Those skinny little chicken legs have fat rolls and she’s even acquired several chins.  I’m rather proud of the effort it’s taken for those to exist.  We have all survived.  A little battered, definitely worn, and totally sleep deprived, but alive. Here just on the other side, I dare to peer back, pat myself on the shoulder, heave a sigh, and march back onto the field.

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More about our Booty Blogger:

Emily Arters is an indeterminate 30-ish something age (how dare you ask) wife of Fred, the magnificent, Arters. She is mother of 4 monkeys, John, Luke, Noah  and Lizzie.  Emily’s occupation, besides the above, is a stay at home, homeschooling mom. Emily became a crafter because she’s a penny pincher and look at things wondering how much cheaper she can make them herself or how much work would it require to refurbish a piece.  She particularly enjoys needle crafts; sewing, knitting, crocheting and so forth.  She also loves to cook and her motto in the kitchen is” Cheap and Easy” !!! (just like her)  Husband hates that she always adds that last part.

More of Emily’s thoughts can be found at The Monkey Barrel 

by Sarah Blight, Founder of Your Baby Booty

Babywearing Rocks. Literally.

Why are we (US residents) the last to pick up on the age old secrets of babydom?

I love technology… a lot… but somehow our technocentric lives have cut us out of the loop of sage baby wisdom that has worked long before technology was the mainstay in our lives.

For example, did you know that in the rest of the world babies’ cries are measured in minutes? For us, in the US of A, we measure them in hours! Hours! The rest of the world doesn’t tolerate their babies crying for hours on end, so why should we? What’s the secret to soothing and calming baby that we’re not privy to?

Let me ask you a question:

Do you wear your baby?

Well, let’s see. If you were pregnant and gave birth to your child, you wore him or her on the inside of your body for (let’s just round up and call it a year, shall we?).  That counts as baby wearing for sure.

If your children came to you by way of adoption then I’m sure you wore your heart for adoption and your child on your sleeves  during the entire, paperwork intensive experience. That counts as babywearing.

But we’re not really talking either of these scenarios, we’re talking about babywearing on your person.

After I first had our son, I wasn’t sure what a baby carrier was exactly. I was confused between infant car seats, baby bouncers, baby swings and then a baby carrier? Whaaa?  I finally realized that if I ever had hopes of doing anything around the house again, I needed to figure out a way to strap baby to me- {light bulb moment…oh! So THAT’s what those are for!}  Call me a bit dense, but it did take me awhile to realize that the SleepyWrap and the Ergo were all ways to let your little one be held by you, hands-free.

Bliss.

Research shows that babywearing has many benefits for your baby (and baby’s parents too!):

1. Babies are smarter- all those neurons are firing and connections are being made because the baby is close to you and soaking up all that is around you. Conversely, you can shield your baby from being overly stimulated, protecting their developing nervous system.

2. Babies cry less-check out the National Geographic Channel or simply do an image search for mothers and babies in different countries. The vast majority of the world’s mothers, wear their babies. Anthropologists have found that those babies are happier and cry less. If you’re like most women, the very sound of your baby crying is like nails on a chalkboard, or mosquitos buzzing around your earlobes all while your milk is leaking from your boobs. Sooo this is very, very good news for us all.

3. Babies become better organized- All you super organized people are LOVING this one aren’t you? Dr. Sears recommends parents wear their babies for an additional 9 months after birth. Imagine as a new baby the culture shock of being out of the womb and being by yourself in a lonely bassinet or bouncy seat, away from the cozy confines of mama’s womb. When you wear your baby, they are soothed by the rhythm of your walk (and probably think- this is familiar!), your voice, your heartbeat and the closeness to you. This helps them organize or regulate their systems.

Okay, are you a convert? Or do you need more proof?

4. It’s a good work out for you- finding time to exercise and get back in shape after baby is difficult, strapping on your baby to do housework or spend time with friends, or chase your other kiddos is a great way to get exercise and have super important bonding time with baby.

5. It’s inexpensive- Baby carriers often times cost less than expensive strollers or swings or bouncy seats and slings are even less expensive and a great way to wear baby. There were some safety issues in the news about slings but not all slings are created equal. This is a great resource to see how to wear slings correctly and what NOT to buy with regards to slings.

So go for it mama (and papas!!), wear your baby long and proud. Baby will cry less and flourish from the closeness. You will look back on your time and wonder how it went by so quickly and will long for those days of babywearing again.

Sources-

Dr. Sears

The Natural Child Project

Good article here.

Excerpt from a research article.

*photo credit- the eye candy in the pic up there? Yep, that’s Steve (Mr. YourBabyBooty) with our bro-in-law.

by Valentina Pollard of …just breathe

Pregnancy with Twins: the unexpected twists & turns

Oh goodness, there are many. I remember my IVF doctor saying that his preference is to help a woman achieve a healthy singleton pregnancy. I asked, a little embarrassed about my naivety, why not help her with a healthy twin pregnancy? And quickly followed with saying that both Blake and I were aware of the risks and complications and were prepared to face them. We discussed the option of a transferring one, lone embryo (which he felt due to my younger age and health would be successful)… which I quickly shot down. NO way! Not after what we have been through to get to this point. I had trusted way too many “perfect” months leading to IUIs that were timed perfectly with multiple fabulous follicles – the “this is it!” months that were not. No way was I going to go through IVF and then electing to only transfer one embryo. (Of course, I knew that in situations of hyperstimulation, etc. that might be medically necessary.) We agreed then that if everything looked optimal and there were no risks to me in doing so, we would plan on transferring two embryos. That was late October, 2010.

The weeks flew by. Shots measured. Shots administered (ouch). Prayers. So many. My dreams were literally multi-hour prayers in which I would wake up with tears on my pillow. Equal parts at peace and terrified of what was ahead. Finally, the week of Thanksgiving came – the week of the egg retrieval. What had been a model IVF cycle took a bit of a detour. My wonderful follicles started wimping out a bit and our truthful and very empowering doctor gave us the talk about it being our choice if we move forward with the egg retrieval. That, at that point, we might not get nearly the amount of follicles hoped for. In fact, from the maturity levels it looked as though only five – if we were lucky – would be mature enough to try to fertilize. This was crushing – after all, we had seen better growth from my follicles in IUI cycles that were much less medicated. All of us were baffled.

I remember the strength Blake had. I felt – for the first time in the long, winding road of infertility – almost defeated. I asked Blake to make the decision because I was too emotional to do it. And, there were so many factors to consider (if we go through with the surgery and do not get enough follicles, we might have to start over but would then be pushed back for potentially a few months while my body recovered…and the out-of-pocket money that would be lost…and, well, I am sure you can imagine all the what-ifs…). We plunged forward: Blake said with such confidence that this was our time to become parents; that he could feel it.

The retrieval was amazing. We ended up with some sneaky mature eggs hiding in small follicles, for a total of seven mature eggs. All seven – 100% of the eggs – fertilized with ICSI! We were all amazed, our doctor included, and he praised our brave decision to move forward and said he could have never predicted that kind of success. By the end of the five day wait, we still had five beautiful, perfectly graded embryos. On the transfer day, they chose the strongest two to transfer back into my body. And then we waited.

Soon thereafter, in the first week of December, our lives changed forever. We were finally – FINALLY – pregnant. We celebrated, telling everyone who would listen (I am a bit of an open book, so while I can easily keep others’ secrets sacred, my own are just kind of put out there…). And we finally – FINALLY – cried tears of joy rather than tears of heartbreak. From that first discovery, this pregnancy has been a dream. No significant set-backs, illnesses, worrisome reports. Nothing. Two healthy baby girls who regularly kick and poke at one another in ways that move my belly all over the place.

Bliss.

Until this week, which as I write this, is my 32^nd week of pregnancy. What I thought would be another routine doctor’s appointment, in which I hold my breath until I see hearts beating, then smile and hold back tears (because surely they are tired of seeing me squeal and cry at every single appointment!) quickly spun out of control. In all this time, of hoping and praying for two healthy babies, I never once thought to hope and pray for myself. And, now it appears that I have developed pretty severe preeclampsia – a condition in which multiple factors, most notably, extremely high blood pressure and elevated protein in your urine (look it up: I am no doctor and therefore do not want to be the one educating anyone, but this is very serious!) are indicative of potentially life threatening issues for the mama.

Over the course of just a few days, my numbers have quickly started heading into that dangerous territory. We are not there quite yet, so the steroid shots have been administered – which help my babies’ lungs quickly develop in the event of preterm delivery – but we face the music tomorrow morning when we have to check into the hospital. Best case scenario is that the levels are progressing slower than expected (which might get us through the weekend). Realistically, though, we were told to be prepared for having babies as soon as tomorrow. Because of the condition’s effects on me (and, so you know, physically I feel great so there are not necessarily any outward symptoms) we will be forced to bring these babies, who are doing so well and snuggled in so nicely, into the world much earlier than planned. (The only way to treat preeclampsia, at the level mine is progressing to, is to deliver the placentas since they are the culprit…and therefore the babies must be delivered, too.)

I have dreamed of seeing the sweet faces of my little blossoming flower babies for so long. Much longer than they have even been growing inside me. But, I need more time. They need more time. And it just doesn’t look like we have it on our side. By the time this is read, I expect that I will actually be a mama to babies whose faces I will well know. And, if so, it will definitely start out a bit differently than hoped for – they will be spending some quality time in the NICU and I will have a potentially very difficult recovery ahead. But, if these girls – my precious Poppy Camille and darling Daphne Rose – are anything like their parents, they are fighters, too. And we will all be okay.

~written in the wee hours of June 23^rd, 2011

* Update*  Poppy Camille and Daphne Rose have arrived- weighing 3lbs 1oz and 4lbs respectively. The Pollard family is doing well! Click here to read their latest update.

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More About Our Booty Blogger:

Valentina Vassallo Pollard started …just breathe… in May 2010 when, after many months, she found herself still holding her breath in hopes of a positive pregnancy test. After a year and a half long journey through the trenches of infertility, she is now living her very own happy ending beginning – a successful first round of IVF resulting in a healthy pregnancy with twin girls. Currently in her third trimester, Valentina is focusing on trying to stay focused at work, decorating her nest for Poppy Camille and Daphne Rose (set to make their debut this summer!) and spreading the word about infertility treatments and the options available to families. She writes about her experiences, hopes, dreams and shopping binges (now mostly baby related) on her blog – www.just-breathe-blog.blogspot.com. Valentina lives in Austin, Texas with her very handsome (and patient) husband, Blake.

Help for Mom

As you guys probably know by now, we are partnering with African Mother’s Health Initiative-a part of  Chimemwe Mu’Bereki/CU. They provide assistance to women who are vulnerable due to health issues or other complications prior to or after birth, as well as providing formula (which is expensive) to the families of orphaned babies so that they don’t die.

This month we are sharing with you the story of  Chrissy, one of the mothers who has been helped immensely by this amazing non-profit organization.

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Chrissy is 36 years old and lives with her husband in the capital of Malawi, Lilongwe. Chrissy has been pregnant 8 different times, but three children died soon after they were born. Some of the difficulty that Chrissy has had with giving birth is because she is HIV positive and receiving anti-retroviral therapy.

In 2010 Chrissy gave birth to her 9th child. After her baby’s birth, she experienced severe hemorrhaging. Chrissy  was feeling extremely weak and unable to care for her newborn baby. Chrissy’s husband didn’t know how to help her.

CU nurses visited Chrissy shortly after she was discharged from the hospital. The nurses checked  Chrissy’s health, which has since improved. CU nurses also gave her advice on nutrition and sanitation to ensure that Chrissy and her family will stay healthy. CU nurses also recruited friends and neighbors to help Chrissy and her family- she now has friends who draw water for her from a better water source. Finally, CU nurses have educated her husband on how to better care for Chrissy’s health after delivery. Thankfully, Chrissy and her family are now much healthier, and are optimistic about the future.

(originally posted here)

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It’s amazing how basic things like education and coordinating help for vulnerable mamas and babies can make a world of difference. You can make a difference to! Donate your time or money!!

by Sarah Blight founder of Your Baby Booty

*this post originally appeared here.

Unlikely Moments of Momraderie

Me doing the "not cool wave"

Now I understand. At least I’m starting to. The “how people with kids meet people so easily” phenomenon. I must say though, I thought the phenomenon would start much, much later when Lil Man was toddling at least!

It reminds me of the time when my hubby purchased a Jeep Wrangler prior to being stationed in Hawaii. It was his “dream” island vehicle and what better time to get it than just before a three year tour in Paradise. It was one of those Jeep Sahara deals that had ginormous tires, a lift kit and rumbled (and I mean RUMBLED) down the road.

No sooner had we started cruising around Oahu in our super fun ride than we started getting nods and “the wave.” The driver of the other “big wheeled, slightly lifted, rumbly jeep” would take a couple fingers off the top of the steering wheel, just as we were passing them. I was driving one day when I got this “jeep wave” and I totally smiled and waved back. But it wasn’t “the wave”, it was the “HI” (flapping hand back and forth) wave. Not cool. Not the “secret handshake” of the Jeep society. Crudola. It wasn’t long before I caught on and my “ingenue” status changed- I learned to either slightly nod the head (with only the briefest of eye contact at said jeep connoisseur) or do the two fingered, steering wheel “wave”. If I was feeling especially “into it”  that day I would do a double whammy and do both, at once!

Fast forward 4 years, I’m cruising with adorable infant son around Austin’s  Town Lake going at quite a quick pace (if I do say so myself). I spot a stroller cruising towards me with car seat in arrears. This mama is briskly walking, I am briskly walking. As we pass each other we both check out each other’s babies, and give that sympathetic but loaded with meaning- “I know” half smile. Thankfully there was no learning curve. I got this without even realizing I needed to “get it.”  I must have picked this up during labor- perhaps during transition. A lot really does happen in that labor and delivery room, doesn’t it? Way more than I ever thought possible.

wait whaa? nursing doesn't look like that

Then recently I was running errands with J after work. J started having a melt down in the car. We ended up at Babies R Us in the “Mother’s Room”. I’ve never used one of these before and besides being flustered at current state of J’s meltdown, I was excited to enter into the room that I’ve never needed to use before. I think part of me thought I would be welcomed by lemonade and freshly baked  cookies. The sign on the door said “Knock before entering” so I did and instead of cookies, was greeted by a friendly voice welcoming me into this “never seen before” room. She was nursing her baby and before long,  there were several of us, strangers, in the “Mother’s Room” baring our breasts all in the name of nutrition. At first it was a little awkward…I didn’t want the other mammaries moms to feel like I was zoned in on their breasts, so I tried not to look at the women at all. But there we were in silence and I’m not one who’s good with sitting in silence….with strangers. So I began the perfunctory “how old is your little…guy or is it a girl? I can’t tell because his/her head is smothered in your rather engorged breasts” question. I asked how old all the babies were, one of the mothers asked if anyone had an extra diaper, her diaper bag was out in the car and she was caught without diapers. Which led to the cloth diapering conversation. Which led to sharing favorite brands. Which led to travel advice. Which led to finding out that one of the women is living in the same town in Hawaii where we lived. Which led to us sharing our deepest darkest secrets with one another, spilling tears, and having a group hug, while burping our babies!!! WOW! Seriously though, I was amazed at how effortlessly this little 12 pounds of wonder brings people together.

Especially people you don’t want to be brought together with.

A rather “portly” lady with a dark mustache, took leave of her 10 pound porterhouse steak on the grill and approached my friend’s 5 month old (while she was crying in her mother’s arms) at the park the other day. Portly lady was getting a bit too close (for my liking) and started conversing with the baby! She didn’t give two hoots about any of the adults standing around, she left my friend (the mom) completely out of it and was chatting away with crying baby. I thought C was going to turn and run (which is the option I think I would’ve taken). But she didn’t. She calmly stood her ground with crying baby and smiled sweetly and serenely at this semi-crazy mustached lady.

I was in awe. I felt like a JV cheerleader watching a Senior girl do an effortless basket toss. Maybe I’ll get there one day too.

*credit

Weekly Faves: Father’s Day Edition

1. If your spouse isn’t quite 100% sure he’s ready for kids, throw this his way, he might just be ready sooner than you think.

2. Super crafty ideas from our Booty Blogger, Vanessa,  that you can make for your hubs. Parenthood doesn’t just start after the kid is born or adopted. It starts with pregnancy or the decision to adopt. So go for it!!

3. If hubby needs a bit of help advice in the “how to take care of you whilst preggo” email this to him. It’s a gift to both you and him;)

4. In case you need a little father’s day menu inspiration go here- after all that momnesia is killer!

5. How about donating some cash to this fabulous organization in honor of your spouse or father? They provide formula and support for orphans and vulnerable women in Malawi.

by Amy Morrison from Pregnant Chicken

A Newborn Baby: What They Really Want

A doctor told a very good friend of mine that the first three months of a newborn’s life is like the fourth trimester (I guess it wouldn’t be called a trimester then but whatev). He said that some important development is far from being done but we wouldn’t be able to give birth to their humongous heads if they stayed in the uterus any longer (I wouldn’t say that they fit really well at 40 weeks either but I’m not going to argue with Mother Nature.)

My friend told me this when my first baby was about a month old and I was trying to implement all the “well intended” (code for “shit”) advice that is often bestowed on a new mom. It was like an Oprah A-Ha moment and it made perfect sense. If I just let him live his life like he’s still in the womb, my life will become way less complex. Here’s what I decided to do:

I stopped giving him a bath every night. Someone told me a bath was crucial to establishing a bedtime routine. She also told me that this should be followed by a massage (sadly it was for him, not me) and a story book. He detested bath time because he was naked and freezing (for the record, he loves being both now), the massage confused him just long enough to get through it and I don’t know why I thought reading the book “Go Dog Go” to a two-week old was logical, but then “sane” wasn’t an adjective I’d use to describe me in the first three months of my child’s life. I accepted that he was a newborn and not a member of the “Deadliest Catch” fishing crew-he wasn’t dirty and he didn’t need a bath.

I stopped dressing him in anything other than jammies. He ate, he pooped, he slept and he cried in a one-hour, round-the-clock cycle. When you have a newborn there is no day and night. I quickly found out that newborns don’t have schedules and they are like those creepy rave kids strung out on E, they want to party at 4am AND 4pm. It was a perpetual Groundhog Day so why dress in a cute outfit for that? Plus, you just have to undress them if they happen to fall into a blissful sleep around 8pm because IT’S BEDTIME!! (said in a high-pitched control freak shrill) and they don’t help with the undressing for a while so it’s like stripping a surly, drugged monkey. Not pretty.

I fed him when he wanted to eat. I remember crying “he can’t be hungry, I just fed him!” so I would try everything to get him to stop only to find out he did want to eat. He would promptly spit it all up but he was happy and so I was happy. My motto was “Pick him up. Fill his mouth. Change his bum.” If that didn’t work, I’d hand him to his father, say “I can’t take it anymore” then cry in the bathroom. It worked for us.

I always let him sleep. Another super “helpful” person told me I should never let a kid sleep past 4pm because you’ll never get them to bed. This is, in fact, true FOR A TWO YEAR OLD. If your newborn is sleeping, don’t wake them. Even though it may not seem like it, they sleep about 16 hours out of 24 in a day and if you think you can roll that into 8 consecutive hours you think wrong. That’s like you sleeping one month so you can stay up for two – you’d starve and/or go bonkers. If your baby is sleeping,  sleep yourself or hit the Southern Comfort – don’t poke the bear.

I didn’t do any classes. You know these classes that they have to “stimulate” your newborn. Let me tell you something, being awake stimulates your newborn. Jingling keys is like an effing air show to them so don’t bother with the damn classes. If you want to feel like a normal part of humanity, go do something that stimulates you (in a non-porn way) and just sit the baby in the corner or strap on the baby carrier. They don’t know where the hell they are anyway so there’s no point in you having to sit through “If You’re Happy and You Know It” clapping your baby’s hands like a newborn/E.T. puppet show because I can guarantee you that your newborn is thinking “I’m not happy and I know it. If I had a dry bum, a full tummy and was asleep on your chest while you lay on the couch watching a DVR’d episode of Project Runway now that would be pretty damn sweet”.

I stopped changing his diaper constantly. When I was sent home from the hospital they gave me a chart to record his peeing and pooing to make sure he was eating enough and everything was in “working order”. I was so happy. I love charts and I loved the small sliver of control I had over the situation. The problem was I got into the habit of changing him every 20 minutes or so. This included the night so if he woke up to eat, I changed him after which meant he woke up that much more which meant it was harder for him to go back to sleep which was not pretty because by the time I got him back to sleep he was hungry again. Once I figured out that if you grease up their little bums and slap a diaper on them they can pretty much make it through the night without a change unless they poo. Now I didn’t use cloth diapers so this may not be the case with them. But the tree-killing, bleached disposable ones I used would soak up a small lake if you threw one of them into it, so baby pee is no big deal.

I picked him up if he cried. Some people warned me that this would “spoil him” and he would manipulate me and cry every time he wanted me. Er, okay, look at me and my sneaky baby! My thinking was I would rather pick him up to find out nothing was wrong rather than leave him to cry and find out something was.

I let him sleep on me. This was considered a big no-no by many because I was “creating a bad habit”. Even I was wondering if I I would have to rock him to sleep and have him sleep on my chest in his dorm room at college (which would make for some awkward roommate moments) because I didn’t establish a sleep schedule early on. Here’s the thing, even if you get something established in the beginning, they change so damn quickly that it will be out the window the next week and you’re back to square one. A wise friend once told me “whatever gets you though the day” and him sleeping on my chest while I watched a movie got me through the day. So there.

Personally, I think you have plenty of time to get all these schedules into place so just do “whatever gets you through the day” for the first little while and cut yourself some slack. I like the idea of the fourth trimester. All you need for those first few months is to provide them with warmth, food and love, and the nightly baths, ferberizing and Mommy and Me classes can wait a bit. I’m just grateful Mother Nature decided that it made more sense for them to be on this side of the fish tank rather than making us give birth to 18lb babies, but I’m weird like that.

**editors note** The concept of “the 4th trimester” is the research and work of Dr. Harvey Karp- you might know him as “The Happiest Baby on the Block” author and baby sleep guru.

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More about our Booty Blogger:

Amy Morrison started Pregnant Chicken in early 2010 when, after both
her pregnancies, she became frustrated by all the scare tactics
bombarding pregnant women and decided that there needed to be a
website that shed a little perspective on all the cautionary tales. In
her former life, she was the head of a creative department at an
advertising agency but now freelances as a graphic designer so she can
be at home with her kids who are the are the light of of her life, the
apples of her eye and the pains in her ass. Amy lives in Toronto with
her two little boys, her husband and a couple of geriatric cats.

Reading To Your Baby Can…

by Vanessa of Silly Eagle Books

Reading to your baby can help them to discover a lifelong love of books. It’s never to early to start reading with your baby. In fact, the best way to get your child on a path to loving reading doesn’t really involve much reading at all. All you need are some positive interactions with books and you’ll get him on the right track to loving books his whole life long.

The best time to introduce books to your baby is around 4 months of age. This is when they usually start grabbing objects and putting them in their mouths. I like using crinkly cloth books because they provide both tactile and auditory feedback. Nothing is more satisfying to an infant than crunching and munching on a crinkly cloth book!

He’s going to be chewing on something, why not a book? Give him his own books and have them available all over the house. I like keeping some in my daughter’s bedroom, some in the playroom, a few in the kitchen, and of course, some stashed in the diaper bag for fun on the go. Switch them around from time to time: move the ones in the bedroom to the playroom, etc. Just switching the room seems to make them interesting all over again.

Letting your baby have these early experiences with books sends him a a clear message: books are for me!

The next step is to take a few moments every day to point out objects on the pages. Most cloth books have words in them, but I rarely read what they say. I just look at the colorful pictures and blurt out highly intelligent phrases such as “Look! Fishy!” and “Ohhhh….kitty cat! Meow!” or even “Orange! Orange!” You don’t have to do more than point and name objects at this stage. Make it fun for about a minute or two and then let your baby go back to munching on the pages and waving it over her head. You don’t want to overwhelm her or take the fun out of the experience.

Don’t feel like you have to “read” every page either. If your little one just has enough focus for you to point to one doggy, then so be it. Follow your child’s lead in these early days; you’ll have plenty of time to read stories later when she is older.

Finally, incorporate reading time into your day every day. I like attaching book time to nap and bedtime. By establishing this time now, you will make it easier when you actually do get to the story time stage with your child. Just after I give my daughter her bedtime feed, I let her sit in my lap (facing me with the boppy behind her for support) and play with a book. Sometimes we talk about the pages, sometimes I just let her crinkle it in her hands.

We’re not doing much, but I’m teaching her that reading is important and it’s something we do everyday. One day she won’t even think twice about reading. It will be something she just naturally does before bed like brushing her teeth or taking a bath.

If you are looking for a few good cloth books to add to your child’s library, check out my list of favorites here!

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More about our Booty Blogger:

Vanessa is the mother of two beautiful girls–Juliet and Lucia. Before she was a mom, she spent her days teaching a little bit of English and a lot more “please be quiet” to high school students and her nights…wait for it…SLEEPING. Now her days are spent reading books, crafting, and chasing the cat around the house while her nights are filled with significantly less sleep and a lot more “please be quiet.” She writes about children’s books, crafting, and learning activities for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers at Silly Eagle Books.

It is a new day in the land of baby registration. Not only are there many places to register, there are a myriad of products to choose from. When showing up to register, many expectant mamas arm themselves with:

1.) Enough preggo hormones to blow up the world.

2.) Kind of an idea of what stuff they’d like for baby but no idea if it’s useful, or good, or safe

3.) Sometimes a lackluster sidekick (such as a daddy), whose only joy in this process right now is using the registry “gun”.

These three factors have the makings of a perfect storm. The kind of storm that shows up unexpectedly unleashing its fury and only dies down when exiting the premises or maybe a bit later while in the drive-thru ordering a decaf frappaccino with extra whip cream.

Those who have gone before you can empathize. Anyone who’s been knocked up in the last half decade, can relate to all the choices, choices, choices that are everywhere! It’s easy to think, in the midst of a hormone induced haze, that if you pick the wrong pacifier for your baby, you will screw up its life. Let us assure you.  You won’t. That’s why Your Baby Booty was established, to be the voice of sanity in the midst of the registry storm.

Here are 3 things to consider before you register for all the baby gear:

1.)    How much space do you have to devote to baby stuff? Remember that baby grows very quickly and some things are only used for a couple months before needing some housing in a closet, garage or basement (or under a bed;).

2.)    Are you finding out the gender of your baby? If you are, you can choose gender specific items. If you are planning on having more kiddos, think about things that you can and will want to use for additional babies. Perhaps those items should be more “gender neutral”. Your choice.

3.)    What baby stores are located close to you? Is it important to you that you can register in one place and have the accessibility to return items you decide you don’t need/ want?  Or do you want to be able to choose “off the grid” products that aren’t necessarily available in a store near you, but can be purchased on the internet and shipped to your door? Returning those items may be a bit more inconvenient but it may be worth it to get more unique items that not everyone and their brother (or mother) has for their baby.

Regardless of what you choose, you MUST check out our new favorite online registry called Babylist.  They are a brand spankin’ new website that makes it super easy to register from anywhere on the web. All you do is sign up to get a free account and install the Babylist bookmark on your toolbar. When you’re surfing for baby gear and find that amazing bedding that’s at an online boutique, you just drag and drop it to your Babylist icon and it adds it to your registry! I seriously wish I had this when I was pregnant. No more meandering glassy eyed under the florescent lights of the baby mega store, pointing a gun at random stuff. Nope. You sit on your comfy couch, in your stretchy pants, sipping your beverage of choice, log onto Your Baby Booty, see what you need, browse online, drag and drop items to your Babylist and you’re done. So. Easy. We even made a showcase Babylist with our Budget Mama registry, go here to see it. It only took us 20 minutes to drag and drop these items to our list.

A super sweet bonus is that you can now easily register for things that you could really use, like carpet cleaning, or pet sitting, or a pre-natal massage, baby and me yoga classes, or diaper service or cloth diapers from anywhere on the web! The world wide web is now your oyster mamas!! So go to Babylist now and check it out!

Do you guys think you’d like this way of registering? Let us know!