By Valentina Pollard of Just Breathe

My Top 10 Must-Haves: The First 3 Months

Daphne and Poppy are now 3 months old! I cannot believe it. They have been home from the NICU for longer than they were there…and the days are flying by (although some more smoothly than others). During this time there have been some items that have made our lives much, much easier. I have listed my very favorite must-haves below. Please note that this list is made with twins in mind. Of course, it applies to all babies (just don’t buy as much if you have one baby instead of two…or buy more if you have three or four)!

 10. Baby Trend Double Snap N Go Stroller. Confession: We have three double strollers. Two parents. Two babies. Three double strollers. I am a bit stroller obsessed. We have the Bob Duallie (haven’t used just yet since the girls are not big enough to run with yet). And we have the Bumbleride Indie Twin (Love it for neighborhood walks and leisurely strolls, but not the most practical for everyday errands and such). At the advice of another twin mom, I bought the Snap N Go…I didn’t want to – after all it is plastic and pretty ugly. But wow this thing is so easy to use when I am out alone with the girls and easy to maneuver with one hand (leaving the other to shop with…). Ugly or not, the easy and cheap Double Snap N Go is an absolute must have.

 9. Chicco Keyfit 30 car seats. These car seats are approved for preemies 4 pounds and bigger. We first bought Graco carseats with a pattern that I loved. The NICU had us return them to buy the Chicco. The girls both passed their car seat tests, they are lightweight and easy to carry two at a time…love them. We lost one of the seat pad inserts (still a mystery where it ended up!), so I called Chicco to order another one. For $12 they sent me a replacement and it arrived in 2 days! Great customer service. Buy them!

 8. Fisher-Price Newborn Rock & Play Sleeper. Two of them in your bedroom…critically necessary for the first three months (and counting!). We each have one sleeper next to each of us and the girls are now sleeping in them up to 8 hours each night. These keep them on an incline, reduce reflux and are easy to move around the house for impromptu napping. Must have. Period. Must. Best money you will spend.

 7. Fisher-Price Papasan Cradle Swing – My Little Lamb. The big one. The girls rotate using this when one is feeding and the other is fussy. They are HUGE and expensive, so we only bought one, but baby is it worth it. They love it. Immediately calms whichever one is in it, which is great because if you are feeding the other one or changing one, etc. you cannot attend to both at the same time. If we had tons of room we would probably buy a second one, but our house is small!

 6. The Miracle Blanket. Get one for each baby you have. They will not want to share and you will greatly benefit from having two sleeping babies! It is the best swaddle. As bragged about above, both girls are sleeping up to 8 hours at night…but only when we swaddle them with this particular swaddle. A good swaddle is huge for a preemie (which most twins are) because it mimics the womb. I like my babies swaddled. And I like them swaddled tight.

 5. Medela Symphony breast pump. I rented mine from a local store. Many hospitals rent them as well. If you are pumping for twins, don’t mess around with the pumps you can buy at a store – they are no where near powerful enough for how much milk you will need to produce and how quickly you will need to produce it!

4. Moby wrap. I am wrap obsessed. Chances are, if you stop by my house I am wearing one if not two babies. All. The. Time. I have bought three other wraps, but I keep coming back to the Moby. People say it is hard to use or that there is too much fabric. Bull. It is fabulous. I can now tie it without using a mirror and the girls love it. In fact, Daphne is asleep in it now while I am writing this!

 3. Graco Sweet Slumber Sound Machine. Small, portable and plays multiple sounds. We moved ours to the master bedroom and keep it on all the time. I prefer the rain and bird sounds. Puts the girls to sleep and I really believe it helps them relax at night. On a whim, I put this on our registry and am so glad I did. It was an awesome gift to receive and one of the most useful so far.

 2. Diaper Genie II Elite Diaper Disposal System. I’ll admit: I have talked a lot of trash about diaper genies in the past (pun totally intended). But with two babies (or for that matter any amount of baby(ies)!) and all the dirty diapers they produce (sorry, but I only use disposable diapers…much praise to those of you who are more eco-conscious than I am, but over my dead body am I scrapping poo into a toilet…yack)…must. have. Our house smells great at all times.

 1. California Baby Calendula Cream.  Nature’s First-Aid! As the description states, California Baby Calendula Cream is excellent for use on general diaper area, cradle cap, on cuts and scrapes, and may be used on face and body for extra-dry or sensitive skin. Botanically based, our light and fluffy Calendula Cream contains the active ingredient of Calendula, which has been used to heal the skin for centuries. California Baby Calendula Cream offers deep hydration, absorbs completely, and leaves skin feeling satiny smooth. I’ve been using it on both girls’ sweet faces at night (and mine too!) as part of our bedtime routine and on any little scratches (from those pesky finger nails that grow like weeds), etc. If I notice a scratch on one of the girl’s faces I immediately apply some cream and – ta da! – the scratch literally disappears by the next morning. It smells like heaven, is lightweight and the girls and I love it. You will too.

What am I missing out on? Any suggestions of must-haves for the next 3 months?

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More about our Booty Blogger:

Valentina Vassallo Pollard started …just breathe… in May 2010 when, after many months, she found herself still holding her breath in hopes of a positive pregnancy test. After a year and a half long journey through the trenches of infertility, she is now living her very own happy ending beginning – a successful first round of IVF resulting in a healthy pregnancy with twin girls. Valentina is busy adjusting to the wonderful world of mommyhood with the arrival of her girls, now three months old. She is passionate about spreading the word about infertility treatments and the options available to families. She writes about her experiences, hopes, dreams and shopping binges (now mostly baby related) on her blog – www.just-breathe-blog.blogspot.com. Valentina lives in Austin, Texas with her very handsome (and patient) husband, Blake.

by Vanessa of Silly Eagle Books

Nursery Design by Numbers

Numbers are becoming a big trend in both baby names and room decor. And while there are many beautiful options to purchase (aren’t there always?) This is a trend that is fairly easy for anyone (even non-crafty types) to pull off. To start out, decide if you want to display meaningful numbers (significant dates, members of family, ages, etc) or if you just want to go with what appeals to you visually. Once you know which numbers you want to incorporate into your nursery design, try these ideas.

• Visit the local hardware store and check out their house number options. You can find several different styles and finishes that can be combined to create your own custom wall art. Attach them to a board or wall, frame them, or even screw them onto a piece of furniture such as a dresser drawer or changing table. Don’t see what you like at the Home Depot? Try online retailers such as Design Within Reach and Seattle Luxe.

• Search your bookshelves or secondhand book stores for vintage or modern counting books. Frame a few of your favorites or use Mod Podge to create a canvas collage. If you don’t want to destroy a book for the sake of art, you can try simply displaying the books by leaning them on a picture ledge. I love these cool counting board books. And when your baby is old enough, you have something educational and beautiful to read together.

• Look for vintage flashcards to use as wall art. Like this one. I found it here.

• Use a stencil and paint numbers onto your walls or take the easy way and purchase vinyl wall numbers like these black and white ones or these colorful ones.

• Walls aren’t the only place to add numbers, buy this numbered pillow case or try your hand at creating your own with some foam stamps and fabric paint.

Need some more ideas? Just search for “numbers” on pinterest for more inspiration.

What about you? Which numbers would you incorporate into your baby’s room?

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About our Booty Blogger:

Vanessa is the mother of two beautiful girls–Juliet and Lucia. Before she was a mom, she spent her days teaching a little bit of English and a lot more “please be quiet” to high school students and her nights…wait for it…SLEEPING. Now her days are spent reading books, crafting, and chasing the cat around the house while her nights are filled with significantly less sleep and a lot more “please be quiet.” She writes about children’s books, crafting, and learning activities for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers at Silly Eagle Books.

1. We are diggin’ this website/community. A great way to meet like minded active mamas, get your exercise on and save money on things we all buy anyway! Genius! For now, it’s in the Holland/Grand Rapids, MI vicinity- see if there’s something like this where you live!

2. How To Be A Dad. Great website for dads (and moms too who want to see what on earth dads talk about) by dads. Super funny.

3. This video, which we found out because of numero dos above. Get ready for a great ab workout.

4. This is a really great childbirth resource- a wealth of articles and information.

5. If you really want a homebirth but will be giving birth in a hospital (for whatever reason), read this book!

Any faves that you want us to know about? Spill the beans mamas!

by Sarah Blight, Founder of Your Baby Booty

Babywearing Rocks. Literally.

Why are we (US residents) the last to pick up on the age old secrets of babydom?

I love technology… a lot… but somehow our technocentric lives have cut us out of the loop of sage baby wisdom that has worked long before technology was the mainstay in our lives.

For example, did you know that in the rest of the world babies’ cries are measured in minutes? For us, in the US of A, we measure them in hours! Hours! The rest of the world doesn’t tolerate their babies crying for hours on end, so why should we? What’s the secret to soothing and calming baby that we’re not privy to?

Let me ask you a question:

Do you wear your baby?

Well, let’s see. If you were pregnant and gave birth to your child, you wore him or her on the inside of your body for (let’s just round up and call it a year, shall we?).  That counts as baby wearing for sure.

If your children came to you by way of adoption then I’m sure you wore your heart for adoption and your child on your sleeves  during the entire, paperwork intensive experience. That counts as babywearing.

But we’re not really talking either of these scenarios, we’re talking about babywearing on your person.

After I first had our son, I wasn’t sure what a baby carrier was exactly. I was confused between infant car seats, baby bouncers, baby swings and then a baby carrier? Whaaa?  I finally realized that if I ever had hopes of doing anything around the house again, I needed to figure out a way to strap baby to me- {light bulb moment…oh! So THAT’s what those are for!}  Call me a bit dense, but it did take me awhile to realize that the SleepyWrap and the Ergo were all ways to let your little one be held by you, hands-free.

Bliss.

Research shows that babywearing has many benefits for your baby (and baby’s parents too!):

1. Babies are smarter- all those neurons are firing and connections are being made because the baby is close to you and soaking up all that is around you. Conversely, you can shield your baby from being overly stimulated, protecting their developing nervous system.

2. Babies cry less-check out the National Geographic Channel or simply do an image search for mothers and babies in different countries. The vast majority of the world’s mothers, wear their babies. Anthropologists have found that those babies are happier and cry less. If you’re like most women, the very sound of your baby crying is like nails on a chalkboard, or mosquitos buzzing around your earlobes all while your milk is leaking from your boobs. Sooo this is very, very good news for us all.

3. Babies become better organized- All you super organized people are LOVING this one aren’t you? Dr. Sears recommends parents wear their babies for an additional 9 months after birth. Imagine as a new baby the culture shock of being out of the womb and being by yourself in a lonely bassinet or bouncy seat, away from the cozy confines of mama’s womb. When you wear your baby, they are soothed by the rhythm of your walk (and probably think- this is familiar!), your voice, your heartbeat and the closeness to you. This helps them organize or regulate their systems.

Okay, are you a convert? Or do you need more proof?

4. It’s a good work out for you- finding time to exercise and get back in shape after baby is difficult, strapping on your baby to do housework or spend time with friends, or chase your other kiddos is a great way to get exercise and have super important bonding time with baby.

5. It’s inexpensive- Baby carriers often times cost less than expensive strollers or swings or bouncy seats and slings are even less expensive and a great way to wear baby. There were some safety issues in the news about slings but not all slings are created equal. This is a great resource to see how to wear slings correctly and what NOT to buy with regards to slings.

So go for it mama (and papas!!), wear your baby long and proud. Baby will cry less and flourish from the closeness. You will look back on your time and wonder how it went by so quickly and will long for those days of babywearing again.

Sources-

Dr. Sears

The Natural Child Project

Good article here.

Excerpt from a research article.

*photo credit- the eye candy in the pic up there? Yep, that’s Steve (Mr. YourBabyBooty) with our bro-in-law.

by Melissa of The Expectant Life

Your Body During Pregnancy

Standing in the grocery store line last week, I couldn’t help but be assaulted by notice the magazine headlines clamoring for my attention: “10 Tips to Get a Hot Body Now;” “Swimsuits That Slim You Instantly;” “Four kids, no time, this body…find out how she does it.;” “How to Get the Body of Your Favorite Celeb;” “5 cellulite fixes that actually work;” “The trick to getting rid of your double chin;” “Down 35 lbs and already rockin’ a bikini bod just 5 weeks after giving birth.”

I wanted to burn them all, the magazines that is, not because I wouldn’t love to have the body of a celebrity or lose my double chin, but because I tire of the messages our culture sends to women about their bodies. Messages like, you have to be skinny to be sexy, you’ll only be desired for your outward beauty, you’re identity is in how you look, and on and on they go. They’re sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant, but either way they tend to leave women feeling dissatisfied with their bodies and under constant pressure to look a certain way.

I’m very much for healthy eating, being fit and in shape, and taking care of your body. But I’m also for balance, accepting the body you’ve been given, and rockin’ what you got! The journey to have a healthy body image has been life-long for me. And not long after I hit my stride as I rolled into my 30’s, feeling really comfortable in my own skin, did I get pregnant. At first, there wasn’t much of a physical change, at least outwardly. Yet the hormones kicked in immediately, ‘the girls’ began to ache, and my tummy began to rebel. And shortly thereafter, the visible signs appeared as my belly began to burgeon, along with other parts of me that unexpectedly burgeoned too! For me, it was my backside, my bum, my derriere, whatever you want to call it. When I’m preggo, it grows at approximately the same pace as my belly. Perhaps it’s attempting to even things out, so as to keep me balanced, or at least that’s what I tell myself anyway!

Every woman is different and thus, the shape that a pregnancy takes varies from body to body. The one certainty is that your body will change when you’re pregnant. How do you handle this change? Some women welcome it completely, taking great comfort and joy in the fact that this ever expanding body is growing another human being. But many women I’ve talked to experience mixed feelings, the comfort and joy mentioned above, meshed with a struggle to love their widening, softening, and ever growing body.

An even greater challenge for many women, me included, is that of embracing our bodies which are forever changed once we’ve pushed out that bowling ball-sized bundle of love. No one warned me that I would still look pregnant AFTER I gave birth! I remember having a friend come to visit me in the hospital the day that my son was born. I was in the bathroom when she arrived and as I came out, I felt the need to warn her, “I swear I gave birth today, but I still look pregnant!” This not to mention that I was incredibly swollen EVERYWHERE due to the IV that had to be pumped through me for 45 hours. I look back at pictures of me with my family, shortly after Ben’s birth, and let’s just say, it’s hard for me to see myself in that state.

I immediately loved my sweet baby boy more than I ever thought I could love someone who wasn’t my husband, but I struggled to accept all the jiggle in places I never knew could jiggle and that I weighed more than I ever had in my life even though I was sans baby in the belly. But through the years, I’ve come to realize that body image or how I feel about my body is really a matter of perception and attitude. I know women who at 39 weeks pregnant, if you looked at them from the backside, you wouldn’t be able to tell they were pregnant. And those same women slid back into their size 2 skinny jeans just days after giving birth. Yet, in talking with some of those women, they too, identified parts of their bodies with which they were dissatisfied. As someone who will NEVER don a pair of skinny jeans (due to calves that are about the same size as my thighs, ok not quite, but you get the picture), I initially thought to myself, ‘but how in the world could you be dissatisfied with your body when you look like THAT?’ But I was quickly reminded that no matter our shape or size, we as women can always find parts of our bodies that we don’t like, often times much more easily than we can identify the parts we’re happy with. All too often, I think we waste a lot of energy being mad at our bodies, rather than making friends with them.

Long before my baby-making days, in effort to ‘make friends with my body,’ I began asking myself this question from time to time, “Right now, is your body a stranger, enemy, or friend?” I began to explore my views and beliefs towards my body and where those were coming from. I found that many of my beliefs came from what culture was telling me I was supposed to look like rather than what my preferences were or what made me feel good.

After giving birth, I desperately needed to revisit the stranger, enemy, or friend question. I also realized that I needed to spend some time reflecting on the awesome feats my body had just pulled off. As I did, I began to thank my body. It may sound corny, but sometimes a little heart to heart, or rather heart to thighs dialogue is necessary for me. And as I listen to my body, and sit in awe of everything my body does for me on a daily basis, I am filled with gratitude, able to more easily accept my not-so-favorite-parts.

So, if this hits home for you in any way, I’ll leave you with a few questions and thoughts to ponder:

1. Right now, do you see your body as a stranger, enemy, or friend?

2. What attitude do you have towards your body today? Positive or negative? Grateful or disparaging?

3. Make a list of the amazing things your body has done for you today. Perhaps you could start with the fact that your body woke up this morning breathing!

4. What have you done to love your body today? Maybe start with thinking about what things you could actually do to love your body. Here are a few that I like: feeding it healthy foods, exercise, warm bath

5. Think of something that makes you feel beautiful, not beautiful in the “so and so told me I totally rock those jeans” kind of beautiful, but something that makes you feel beautiful inside and out.  For me, it’s going for a hike or a run, somewhere in nature. Something about the sun shining on my face, the wind blowing in my hair, and my body carrying me up a hill leaves me feeling strong and beautiful. Whatever it is for you, DO IT!

6. What does it look like for you to accept what you’re not and embrace all that you are, when it comes to your body?

As my second pregnancy ensues, it once again is debatable as to whether the baby is growing in my belly or my bum, but I’m in a much better place this time around to be friends with my burgeoning backside. I’m choosing to treat my body right, eating healthy and exercising, and I feel good. Everyday, I make it a practice to thank my body for its willingness to undergo such duress, so as to grant me with another beautiful family member to love. After all, we only have one body, so I say, love the one you’re with!

*credit

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more about our Booty Blogger:

Melissa lives, works, and plays outside of Denver, Colorado with her husband, son, and ultra-sweet but ultra-needy Golden Retriever, Samaya. She is a mostly stay-at-home mama to her bundle of boy, Ben, and when she’s not wiping up drool or playing peek-a-boo with her son, she works part-time in her private practice as a Licensed Professional Counselor. Melissa’s latest challenge is that of attempting to juggle the four main hats she sports, those of wife, mother, friend, and therapist. She views life as a journey and considers her life’s work to be that of walking alongside people on the journey, whether it’s her hubby, son, friends, or clients. And she is a strong believer in living life to the fullest, which for her involves playing in the great outdoors every chance she gets. When given a spare couple of hours, she can be found running, biking, hiking, skiing, and backpacking in her backyard, aka the Rocky Mountains. Aside from active pursuits, creating and writing are essential to Melissa’s life. She likens writing to using a pair of binoculars, allowing her to focus in on the beauty that lies in the messiness of the mundane. You can find more of Melissa’s writing on her blog, The Expectant Life.

by Vanessa of Silly Eagle Books

Exercise and Pregnancy: gettin’ in the pool

Athletic is the last word I (or anyone else) would use to describe myself. However, in my childhood and in the late 90′s, I actually spent many an hour in the pool. Not just splashing around, but wearing a Speedo and doing laps. Lots of them. I was pretty much on a swim team from 8th grade until my senior year in college. And although I was never very fast (kind of a key factor in the whole race situation), I did learn how to enjoy a good water workout.

During both my pregnancies, I found myself in our neighborhood pool almost every evening during the summer months. And not surprisingly, it did me a lot of good. Here are a few reasons why you should try it for yourself.

1. You can’t fall.

As any pregnant woman will tell you, balance becomes a challenge once the baby bump starts to pop out. Even in the early months, you suddenly find yourself falling forward, leaning sideways, and generally wobbling about. I swear off step-stools at around month three for fear of toppling off. The nice thing about swimming or walking in a pool is that the water surrounds you, cradles you, and keeps you upright. And even if you do lose your balance in there, it’s no big deal because you’ll just sink softly into the water.

2. You lose weight.

Not literally (I’m not advocating weight-loss while pregnant!), but you feel as if you have lost all the baby weight. The force that usually pulls your belly downward is suddenly and refreshingly gone. You can hop and dance and feel like your old self in the water. Not only do you lose weight, but your older children do as well. If you have a 20+ pound child who still likes to be held, pool time is the perfect time to do it. You can hold her in your arms like the old days and she will feel as light as a feather. I enjoyed holding my three year old in the pool this past summer when I was eight months pregnant. She loved having some time in my arms again, too.

3. You can buy a swim suit that you will grow into.

Usually buying a swim suit is one of the most painful tasks of the year because it involves high hopes that I will lose some weight in order to fit into a certain suit. Buying a maternity suit is exactly the opposite. Instead of buying small and hoping I’ll fit eventually, I buy big and expect to fill it out! Glorious. (Here’s an especially cute one.)

4. You can hide the bump.

I know it’s fun to show off the baby bump, but there are times when I just want to hide it and get a break from the running commentary from random strangers. If you stand in the pool near the wall or sit on the steps with a submerged belly, you look like any other woman in the pool and you can get a short respite from people rubbing your belly, telling you that you are definitely having a boy (even though you are definitely having a girl), and other annoying and unsolicited advice. Of course, once you step out, people will feel prompted to say things like, “Wow! You must be due any day now!” (Actually, I have six months left.) “Twins, right?” (Wrong.), and the every popular “Snack time, again?” (Yes. Yes, it is.)

5. You can relieve joint pressure.

My hip joints always ache when I’m pregnant and swimming is one of the few ways I’ve found to get a little relief. Slow easy laps with plenty of breaks always seems to loosen up my joints and get me back to a less painful place for a few hours. It’s also nice for working out some of that lower back pressure.

6. You can cool off.

Am I the only one who feels like I’m stuck inside an oven for nine months while pregnant? If you are unlucky enough to go through four months of 100+ degree days while pregnant, then jumping in the pool may be the only way to get a little relief from the heat. Water–especially cool water–is always good for taking the body temp down a few degrees.

And of course, there are the exercise benefits of swimming which you are probably already familiar with. You can get your heart rate up, improve your flexibility, posture, muscle tone, etc. Plus, you get to wear goggles.

And don’t forget those cute maternity swim suits.

*credit

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More about our Booty Blogger:

Vanessa is the mother of two beautiful girls–Juliet and Lucia. Before she was a mom, she spent her days teaching a little bit of English and a lot more “please be quiet” to high school students and her nights…wait for it…SLEEPING. Now her days are spent reading books, crafting, and chasing the cat around the house while her nights are filled with significantly less sleep and a lot more “please be quiet.” She writes about children’s books, crafting, and learning activities for babies, toddlers, and preschoolers at Silly Eagle Books.

by Valentina Pollard of …just breathe

Pregnancy with Twins: the unexpected twists & turns

Oh goodness, there are many. I remember my IVF doctor saying that his preference is to help a woman achieve a healthy singleton pregnancy. I asked, a little embarrassed about my naivety, why not help her with a healthy twin pregnancy? And quickly followed with saying that both Blake and I were aware of the risks and complications and were prepared to face them. We discussed the option of a transferring one, lone embryo (which he felt due to my younger age and health would be successful)… which I quickly shot down. NO way! Not after what we have been through to get to this point. I had trusted way too many “perfect” months leading to IUIs that were timed perfectly with multiple fabulous follicles – the “this is it!” months that were not. No way was I going to go through IVF and then electing to only transfer one embryo. (Of course, I knew that in situations of hyperstimulation, etc. that might be medically necessary.) We agreed then that if everything looked optimal and there were no risks to me in doing so, we would plan on transferring two embryos. That was late October, 2010.

The weeks flew by. Shots measured. Shots administered (ouch). Prayers. So many. My dreams were literally multi-hour prayers in which I would wake up with tears on my pillow. Equal parts at peace and terrified of what was ahead. Finally, the week of Thanksgiving came – the week of the egg retrieval. What had been a model IVF cycle took a bit of a detour. My wonderful follicles started wimping out a bit and our truthful and very empowering doctor gave us the talk about it being our choice if we move forward with the egg retrieval. That, at that point, we might not get nearly the amount of follicles hoped for. In fact, from the maturity levels it looked as though only five – if we were lucky – would be mature enough to try to fertilize. This was crushing – after all, we had seen better growth from my follicles in IUI cycles that were much less medicated. All of us were baffled.

I remember the strength Blake had. I felt – for the first time in the long, winding road of infertility – almost defeated. I asked Blake to make the decision because I was too emotional to do it. And, there were so many factors to consider (if we go through with the surgery and do not get enough follicles, we might have to start over but would then be pushed back for potentially a few months while my body recovered…and the out-of-pocket money that would be lost…and, well, I am sure you can imagine all the what-ifs…). We plunged forward: Blake said with such confidence that this was our time to become parents; that he could feel it.

The retrieval was amazing. We ended up with some sneaky mature eggs hiding in small follicles, for a total of seven mature eggs. All seven – 100% of the eggs – fertilized with ICSI! We were all amazed, our doctor included, and he praised our brave decision to move forward and said he could have never predicted that kind of success. By the end of the five day wait, we still had five beautiful, perfectly graded embryos. On the transfer day, they chose the strongest two to transfer back into my body. And then we waited.

Soon thereafter, in the first week of December, our lives changed forever. We were finally – FINALLY – pregnant. We celebrated, telling everyone who would listen (I am a bit of an open book, so while I can easily keep others’ secrets sacred, my own are just kind of put out there…). And we finally – FINALLY – cried tears of joy rather than tears of heartbreak. From that first discovery, this pregnancy has been a dream. No significant set-backs, illnesses, worrisome reports. Nothing. Two healthy baby girls who regularly kick and poke at one another in ways that move my belly all over the place.

Bliss.

Until this week, which as I write this, is my 32^nd week of pregnancy. What I thought would be another routine doctor’s appointment, in which I hold my breath until I see hearts beating, then smile and hold back tears (because surely they are tired of seeing me squeal and cry at every single appointment!) quickly spun out of control. In all this time, of hoping and praying for two healthy babies, I never once thought to hope and pray for myself. And, now it appears that I have developed pretty severe preeclampsia – a condition in which multiple factors, most notably, extremely high blood pressure and elevated protein in your urine (look it up: I am no doctor and therefore do not want to be the one educating anyone, but this is very serious!) are indicative of potentially life threatening issues for the mama.

Over the course of just a few days, my numbers have quickly started heading into that dangerous territory. We are not there quite yet, so the steroid shots have been administered – which help my babies’ lungs quickly develop in the event of preterm delivery – but we face the music tomorrow morning when we have to check into the hospital. Best case scenario is that the levels are progressing slower than expected (which might get us through the weekend). Realistically, though, we were told to be prepared for having babies as soon as tomorrow. Because of the condition’s effects on me (and, so you know, physically I feel great so there are not necessarily any outward symptoms) we will be forced to bring these babies, who are doing so well and snuggled in so nicely, into the world much earlier than planned. (The only way to treat preeclampsia, at the level mine is progressing to, is to deliver the placentas since they are the culprit…and therefore the babies must be delivered, too.)

I have dreamed of seeing the sweet faces of my little blossoming flower babies for so long. Much longer than they have even been growing inside me. But, I need more time. They need more time. And it just doesn’t look like we have it on our side. By the time this is read, I expect that I will actually be a mama to babies whose faces I will well know. And, if so, it will definitely start out a bit differently than hoped for – they will be spending some quality time in the NICU and I will have a potentially very difficult recovery ahead. But, if these girls – my precious Poppy Camille and darling Daphne Rose – are anything like their parents, they are fighters, too. And we will all be okay.

~written in the wee hours of June 23^rd, 2011

* Update*  Poppy Camille and Daphne Rose have arrived- weighing 3lbs 1oz and 4lbs respectively. The Pollard family is doing well! Click here to read their latest update.

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More About Our Booty Blogger:

Valentina Vassallo Pollard started …just breathe… in May 2010 when, after many months, she found herself still holding her breath in hopes of a positive pregnancy test. After a year and a half long journey through the trenches of infertility, she is now living her very own happy ending beginning – a successful first round of IVF resulting in a healthy pregnancy with twin girls. Currently in her third trimester, Valentina is focusing on trying to stay focused at work, decorating her nest for Poppy Camille and Daphne Rose (set to make their debut this summer!) and spreading the word about infertility treatments and the options available to families. She writes about her experiences, hopes, dreams and shopping binges (now mostly baby related) on her blog – www.just-breathe-blog.blogspot.com. Valentina lives in Austin, Texas with her very handsome (and patient) husband, Blake.

By Emily Arters of The Monkey Barrel

First Birthday Freak Out

When I gave birth to my first bundle of joy, John, I was somewhat of a babycare pro. I’d been a nanny for a few years and was well versed in the art. It was a rocky start though since I now had to  figure out whether to breast or bottle feed,  navigate a few other tiny hiccups, and then I couldn’t just send him home at night when I was ready to make dinner. Over all though, John was an easy baby and his first year was pretty darn blissful. I’m hoping that doesn’t sound brag-a-docious, we were just really blessed with a content and happy baby. As his first year came to a close, the one thing I had not prepared for, had not considered, had not even given thought to was his first birthday party.

{Enter stormy music accompanied by panicked, frazzled mom with no clue.}

Just like everything else with your first kid, (and second, third, and fourth) everyone has an opinion or an expectation. With so many ideas coming at me, my head became a tiny freaked out tornado. I pelted the hubs with question after question until his wits nearly took leave. He started holing up in his office with headphones on, “work” projects to finish just so I’d stop asking about color swatches, cartoon characters, and present ideas. After much agonizing and deliberation on my part, -and frankly, peer pressure from all the greatness that Martha Stewart was at the time- we, well… I really… decided to go large. This turned out to be a huge, gigantic mistake.

The balloons were finally bought, presents wrapped, house festooned, gift bags assembled, and the cake was baked and decorated.  John woke up that morning with his first ever stomach flu and barfed for 24 hours straight. Devastated, I called the hordes of potential party goers with a tentative reschedule date for the following week to be sure the whole house was clear and could be disinfected within an inch of its life before we had guests over. Budget blown, half the guests lost to scheduling conflicts, his first party wound up being just close family and John had a great time. This was my first major lesson in how life with kids just doesn’t go as planned.  You either learn to roll with it, or the disappointment gets the better of you.

As a result I became a better and more flexible party planner. Smaller gatherings are always better for the first year. Until they’re four or five they don’t have much of an idea what’s going on, so it’s better to save the big ideas until they can actually enjoy them. I’ve seen the recommendations that the number of years your celebrating should equal the number of kids, but in most cases that’s really not feasible. For us, by the time you make it just through the immediate family list you’re already up to 10 or 12 kids. Yes, there will be friends who are offended they weren’t invited and maybe even extended family, but let’s face it, they’re always aggravated for some reason or another and for once they have a tiny reason. They can deal, people!

When throwing a baby soiree, keep it simple folks, m-kay??

Things to do at your kid’s first birthday party

1. Choose party themes that center around the things they really enjoy. That may mean you won’t find paper products, decorations, gift bags, wrapping paper, and cake accessories to match but honestly at one, they’re licking paper towels, eating paper scraps and lint balls, and surviving on the free range cheerios from off the floor anyway. Beyond a cursory glance at the balloons, they really don’t care about anything else.

2. Go to the hardware store and find various sizes of packing boxes for them to crawl in and out of.

3. Buy a giant bag of ball pit balls and an inflatable baby pool. Have fun with it!

4. Try bubbles and bubble machines for a theme.

5. Frankly just have a nice water table and loads of cups and utensils to play with in it. The baby will have a blast, your budget will remain unscathed, and you will have delightful memories of a way less stressful celebration of making it together through their first year of life.

On Gift Giving

The gifting aspect alone to the party may feel like the end of your sanity. Don’t stress!! Remember the baby has no clue what the green stuff in your wallet is nor how much or how little is in there. If you’re crafty, there’s about a bazillion blogs with cute tutorials on all manner of things you can create. If you’re not crafty check out the bookstore for a new pile of board books. Check your local Taps store for some developmental toys that are unusual and age appropriate. Heed the age recommendations on the packaging! We learned a few hard lessons believing our child was more “advanced” than he really was to figure some of those things out. Doh! Either way you go, remember the amount of new things can become overwhelming because they’re getting more gifts than just yours. Overspending just makes for an irritable you later. Once again, the baby is completely oblivious.

Ultimately, we just want to celebrate our kids. That first year is monumental for both them and for you.  You get to look back to see how far you’ve made it since you graduated Lamaze, how they slapped you on the back and sent you bewildered into the world to go have a baby.. ACK! From the moment they placed that beautiful, crying, demanding, living piece of your heart into your arms, and all of the next 364 days, you accomplished so much more than you both thought capable. That’s definitely worthy of acknowledging, but not so much that you send yourself to an institution with nightmares of giant inflated cartoon characters, and balloon animals stalking you from the corners of your rooms. Relax and enjoy what you’ve shared. Let the fuss and hoopla go in favor of just a good old fashioned good time.

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About our Booty Blogger:

Emily Arters is an indeterminate 30-ish something age (how dare you ask) wife of Fred, the magnificent, Arters. She is mother of 3 monkeys, John, Luke, and Noah with one more to complete the barrelful due in June. Emily’s occupation, besides the above, is a stay at home, homeschooling mom. Emily became a crafter because she’s a penny pincher and look at things wondering how much cheaper she can make them herself or how much work would it require to refurbish a piece.  She particularly enjoys needle crafts; sewing, knitting, crocheting and so forth.  She also loves to cook and her motto in the kitchen is” Cheap and Easy” !!! (just like her)  Husband hates that she always adds that last part.

More of Emily’s thoughts can be found at The Monkey Barrel .

Vanessa (one of our amazingly creative Booty Bloggers), of Silly Eagle Books is allowing us to sneak a peek into her daughter’s nursery. Get ready to have a party for your eyeballs with this super whimsical, fun room she created.

Right off the bat I am diggin the grey (or is it “gray” I always get confused) walls with pops of color here and there.

Are you diggin the lamp on the changing table? And how about that cute wall art? Vanessa spills the beans on all this stuff (link at the bottom of this post).

This cozy and playful reading nook makes me want to jump in and read a good book. I’m diggin the owl accessories she has around the room. Hoo wouldn’t?  (haha!)

The pillow and linens are simply beautiful eye candy. I think any baby would feel the urge to sleep in this crib.

A huge thanks to Vanessa of Silly Eagle Books for letting us peek inside your nursery! If you want to see more pics go here- she also includes a list of where she bought things /or made them. She’s a crafty one!

by Emily Arters from The Monkey Barrel

On Maternity Clothes

Being pregnant with a major season change right in the middle can be a serious hazard to your maternity fashion budget.  I knew this ahead of time when I was amassing a few wardrobe items in the fall/winter,  knowing I was still in the early stages of growing.  During those early days of pregnancy, you can use rubber bands, then belly bands, and really long stretchy t-shirts to stumble through until you either get hand-me-downs or have to start plunking cash on the counter for maternity wear.  But you can’t always gauge how rapidly or slowly you’ll gain weight pregnancy to pregnancy, and this being my fourth, I just plain forgot. (I’ll blame it on the shock of actually being pregnant again.)  The weight piled on like a bear prepping for hibernation in the first 12 weeks and I was forced to actually buy pants since I didn’t have any hand-me-downs and couldn’t locate “hibernating bear sizes” in thrift stores.  So I wandered innocently into Target where they had to rescucitate me in the maternity section when the price tag slapped me in the face -$40 dollars for a pair of pants.  I’m not going to spend that on maternity clothes! ONE pair of pants and pants that I’m not even gonna wear for more than a year!  Okay, yes, I’ll keep a spare or two for holiday dinners and occasional family celebrations but that’s not even the point.  I stumbled back out completely dazed and wondering what to do.

I hit the internet when I got home and started googling my favorite haunts for previous maternity purchases and my gaping mouth fell even further toward the floor as I found these prices to be the normal trend in all the stores.  I distinctly recall with my last baby that prices were completely reasonable even on top of the generous amount of clothes I had given to me.  In those days, I had quite the fashionable array and would pick a few odds and ends up on clearance and even found some steals at thrift stores.  What happened in the 2 1/2 years since then?  The thrift stores are picked veritably clean and sales were sparse all winter. I managed to scare up three pairs of pants for around 25 bucks apiece, and for a frugal nut like me, and at the holidays, it was just depressing.

But spring came early and warmer temperatures led me to search for something slightly more suitable than a robe and really stretchy pajamas.  I thought again that I was prepared.  But the prices leaped and I was whiplashed for the second time and exited the store with nothing but tears.  The next few days climbed into the 70′s and my internal furnace refused to shut off, compelling me to try one last store.  Lo and behold I had stumbled into a spring sale with loads of clearance items and to my delight even walked out with several shirts, a dress, and two pairs of lightweight capris/pants for about 100 bucks total.  I was, to say the least, overjoyed and the clothes were cute (adding icing to the melting cake.) Even the burning 80 some degree day and a raging hot flash couldn’t dampen my good spirits when I walked into the sunlight to head home.

I hope retailers get with it and realize that 9 months of bloating, swelling, and weight gain are enough trauma to your esteem, let alone actually trying clothes on while hormonal, emotional, and sweaty. It’s enough to destroy even the most staunch of egos, but if you add a price tag of epic proportions to a stressed out, nearly deranged preggo, well let’s just say it’s like poking sticks at a bear waking from hibernation.

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More about our Booty Blogger:

Emily Arters is an indeterminate 30-ish something age (how dare you ask) wife of Fred, the magnificent, Arters. She is mother of 3 monkeys, John, Luke, and Noah with one more to complete the barrelful due in June. Emily’s occupation, besides the above, is a stay at home, homeschooling mom. Emily became a crafter because she’s a penny pincher and look at things wondering how much cheaper she can make them herself or how much work would it require to refurbish a piece.  She particularly enjoys needle crafts; sewing, knitting, crocheting and so forth.  She also loves to cook and her motto in the kitchen is” Cheap and Easy” !!! (just like her)  Husband hates that she always adds that last part.

More of Emily’s thoughts can be found at The Monkey Barrel